This is definitely the freakiest sex toy I’ve ever used, and I’ve used a lot of them. What makes it so freaky is that it’s so real. It’s a cast of what appears to be a real woman’s mouth and nose, and the texture and shape are so real that this honestly feels like someone’s mouth. The material used is cyberskin, which is a form of “memory” material that approximates real-life matter (see the side of the box for more information). I tried kissing and licking the lips to see how well they moved, and yes, they felt real. The “skin” moves just as real skin does, and it’s soft, too.

I watched the face as I greased up my cock and put it in. It looked like a cock going into a real mouth (a mouth that, I must add, won’t choke or complain, but that won’t moan either or change the amount of suction it gives. Tradeoffs, tradeoffs!). If there were eyes on the thing, it might have been too much to look at.

For a change of pace, I placed the sleeve between my mattress and futon frame and it stayed there nicely as I thrust into it. The feel was very smooth and soft. It didn’t feel much like a mouth, but it certainly felt just like a vagina. This may turn off some people who are looking for the feel of a mouth, but, hey, at least you don’t have to deal with any teeth. Also, there is no tongue in this mouth.

After I came, I pulled out of the little sucking toy and turned it upside down. There is a hole at the other end of the long attached sleeve for cum to drip from, but I wanted to watch my cum drip out of the mouth instead. I looked pretty neat. As I watched my cum flow over the lips, I tried kissing them. The taste of cyberskin and lube aside, I found them to again be quite realistic.

Washing out the toy was also interesting. When I jammed my fingers through the mouth to clean out the cum, I felt like I was making someone gag. By manipulating my finger, I was even able to produce very real-looking expressions from the mouth.

This toy could conceivably be used by a woman to stimulate her clit. Though there’s no tongue, the lips and nose are soft enough that a woman may just find them pleasurable on her clit. Although I tried it on my anus, it didn’t work well in that region, maybe due to the lack of anything protruding there.

The Cyberskin Cyber Suck comes with a vibrating bullet that can be placed into the sleeve for extra pleasure. Lube and cyberskin cleaner are also included. The kit came with a second, smaller mouth as well, though I’m not sure how it can fit into the sleeve. The lips might fit around a clitoris very well, though.

All in all, this was a very enjoyable masturbator to use.

The Party Mate Vaginal Pal is an artificial vagina with a twist. Before I get to the twist, let me say that there are six models of this toy. Some have vibrators in them and some don’t. Some have a ring of “hair” around them, and some don’t. The toy I tested had the ring of hair but not the vibrator.

The rubber vaginal shaft is 1 3/4 inches wide and 7 inches long. It stretches widthwise, so it will accommodate penises that are thicker than average. It will stretch lengthwise, but only by about an inch.

The hair is a thin ring of felt surrounding the vaginal opening, and this felt is constantly shedding. The vaginal opening is lifelike, however. Inside the sheath are centimeter-long rubber spikes that stimulate your penis as you slide in and out of the 7-inch space. The stimulation from these spikes is pretty good, I must say. They sure beat a hand.

Cleaning up after you cum is tricky. This vagina doesn’t turn indide-out very easily, so you may need to pour soapy water in, shake it, and drain it out, then let it dry upside down.

The Party Mate Vaginal Pal has another added attraction to it, which you may like if you are into gender-bending. With the straps on it, you can attach this toy to your waist, tuck the sheath between your legs, and presto! Your own vagina! I tried it this way, lubing up a dildo and fucking the hole, and even rubbing the clit in circles, and I could feel the sensations on my penis below it. Although it will take some time to cum from this kind of stimulation, it will be an interesting twist for anyone with a case of vagina envy. It’s good to know that there are strap-on vaginas out there, although they are still in the beginning stages of social acceptance. Why should penises get all the envy?

Order the Party Mate Vaginal Pal

These days, women who need some toy action have their Jack Rabbits. What would a comparable toy be for men? Think of tools. Think of the Fleshlight. This masturbatory device looks like a flashlight on the outside, but on the inside you will find a soft, artificial mouth, vagina, or rectum that you can use on your lonely nights away from the worksite, or when you’re away from your significant other for a few days, or when you’re fighting with him or her and you don’t anticipate any makeup sex for quite some time.

On its Website, Fleshlight calls itself the “#1 selling male sex unit in the world.” Basically, it’s a fleshlike insert housed in a plastic flashlight-style case. When you use it, you leave it in the case. When you take it out, you’ll notice that it looks a bit like a jellyfish, or some other sea creature (perhaps the last thing women want their vaginas compared to). There is a cap on the bottom, which you can adjust to help regulate suction and collect your sperm after you cum. There are several different inserts available, which you can see on the Website. You can get a mouth, a vagina, a butt, and a non-descript slot. You can also get inserts whose tunnels are ribbed, bumpy, and extra tight.

The company won’t say what the product is made of, but it feels a lot like cyberskin, that realistic-feeling material that approximates the feeling of a vagina.

I tested the vagina model. The one given to me to test was smooth on the inside. For the vagina model, the lips were very realistic, both visually and tactilely. I licked them up and down. I rubbed my mouth on them. Aside from the industrial smell, they were just like the real thing. If you need to bone up on your pussy-licking skills, the vagina Fleshlight may be a good investment for you. After lubing up my penis, I rubbed it on the lips, noticing how they offered much the same sensations as my girlfriend’s labia. When I pushed my penis inward, they enveloped it in the same way hers does.

I imagine most men hold the Fleshlight in their hands as they use it. I tried that and didn’t like it. It’s pretty wide and long, and my thighs frequently bumped up against the shell. So I put it between the mattress of my bed and the frame, made some adjustments to tilt the angle upward, and achieved an okay fit (more tinkering will be needed). That way, I could insert my cock and lie on my stomach on the bed and thrust away.

The sensation was much like that of a vagina. The material moved about my cock in much the same way. It enveloped me, too. Even without the muscle contractions, the juicing, the moaning, the “I love you”s, and the musky smell wafting upward, I still got a very pleasurable experience. In fact, I ejaculated more quickly than I normally do.

Cleanup was only slightly more hassling than with my other artificial vaginas. You have to remove the insert and wash it with warm water, and of course, clean your sperm out of the cap. Then you let it dry.

All in all, it was a good sex toy to use when you need instant relief.